Dear Abba, There is no escaping You. You have captured my heart and now You have been convicting me. I imagine You embracing me as I burst into tears. I reflect on my life. I keep reflecting and on each look, I see mess. I see series after series of mess. From the perfect stranger, it may seem as though I may have it all, but little does anyone truly know how thin of a thread from which I am hanging on. It is only through faith that You still keep that spark of hope alive. I keep running around in circles. I keep running away from myself. It pains so much to realize how much I have messed up. But in all of it, You are still merciful holding me up. I feel Your love, your love holds me up and carries me through really rough patches. It is so easy for me to forgive others but for me, the person I find hardest to forgive is my very self. I can see the many mistakes in my life, moving through like a trailblazer. Is there any chance of a do over? Your words comfort me. I hold on to your words, O Lord, and You have brought me through really far distances. When I think about how much of my life I have lost, parts of me that are dead and still some dying, there You are to remind me that YOU ARE LIFE. There is no other. While losing my life, there You were, it was there I found my true life. All You wanted from me was my time. You want time to coach me, love and mould me. To make firm my steps. You wanted me to be sure about You. To embolden my heart. To show me my true self. To bring out those amazing qualities that were just sitting on life’s shelf. To bring out that beautiful woman that You have been calling me out to be. In all my afflictions and failure, I am so happy to have finally found my love and to rekindle that love I once had with You. You hold me up and I have strength to go on. Just in the nick of time, You come through for me and fill me with so much peace. You put joy in my heart and give me so many reasons to smile. You have been with me this entire time. You give me hope. You give me true life. You give me... there is so much that You give, and I thank You. Your grace is sufficient for me. Now I am put on a special path of trust, faith and faithfulness. You have awakened my senses to You. Like a blind sheep, You help lead me as I walk through this valley of the shadow of death. It is through the storms, I get to see your personality come alive and I become inspired. You leave me in awe, your works too numerous to count. Your knowledge and wisdom without defined length and depth. You are as real as it can get. I ask that You forgive me of my stubborn ways. All I want is to be held by You. I want You to guide me, to lead me, to be my Lord and my God. I run to You when I feel afraid. I run to You for my all. You are all that I have and all that I can keep and it is through this thin thread of hope that You keep that flame alive still burning inside of me. All praises to You, Father, the Most High, my Redeemer. HalleluYah! Hugs and kisses, Marisa. 25.06.23 |