I think to myself, if I had to paint a figure of fear, what would she look like?
That’s easy! I just look in the mirror and there she is... Okay, but seriously, what is fear? Why do I fear so much? Is it an unlabelled addiction?
I sit with myself and think for a while.
Fear: the lack of faith Faith will never meet fear. And fear never wants to meet faith.
If ever I don’t want to see fear, I must wear the cloak of faith around me. Ironically, fear is actually afraid of faith. Fear has a fear of her own.
You see, they never go hand in hand. Or do they?
So, what is fear to me? I usually attach fear to something unknown; something unfamiliar. But I question, why is it that I sometimes become curious and be drawn to the unknown for certain circumstances, and for other circumstances, I dare not to explore.
Hmm... Perhaps it may well be what I decide to place greater value on and the willingness to take risk.
Let’s talk about risk. Risk, uggh.... not my friend. Yet, I can be whisked away so easily into some perilous paths when she calls my name. I don’t realize it yet. I take really huge risks sometimes and don’t even know it. I guess that is why I don’t fear what some might consider worth fearing. Because I don’t even know I am taking a risk in the first place.
So, I guess the better question is, what is my relationship to risk? I ponder some more. I have a love hate relationship with risk.
On one hand, risk throws me off guard, but then on the other side of her, I get to experience amazing possibilities; possibilities I never previously imagined. And I like being amazed!
How can I make risk my friend? Isn’t the answer really simple? I just take more risks. Right?
Easier said than done.
But now, I share a secret. I take a more spiritual approach. This has helped me to overcome some of my fears. Sometimes, I receive assistance in my dreams. I get to go through my fears and really experience them as a simulation. When I wake up from the dream, I play the scenario over and over in my head, figuring out how best I should have dealt with the simulation. I then get to go back in the dream on another night. Sometimes, I experience repeatedly until I try various options. Prayer usually helps to fast track me to get to the best option. The objective seems to me that I should reach a point when I no longer fear. These experiences have really opened up my world. Though it is just dreaming experience, for me, it describes this present reality; this life as a simulation. When I change my attitude, my perception changes with it. I first had to change my attitude and approach towards the stimulus and once that changed, outcomes changed. Once perception is changed, the situation changes. This is life’s simulation.
So, what exactly have I learnt? Sometimes, our very fears keep us back from doing the things we really want to do. But I argue that freedom isn’t actually found in reaching your most destined place. No, this is not freedom. Freedom is found in the ability to just overcome that thing that was once most feared. Fear pushes you to freedom. Fear trains you to reach the point where you have a freedom mentality. Freedom is all in the mind.
So, I have learnt, that fear is only the root and from it sprouts the tree of faith, from which freedom can be sought. From our deepest fears, may sprout some of our greatest victories. We need fear, in order to cause our faith to grow.
In other words, fear reveals our ability and potential to have faith in the first place. It is therefore imperative that the person who holds the greatest fears also carry within them the highest levels of faith.
Remember the deeper the roots, the taller the tree.