Instead of writing about faithfulness, for faithfulness must prove itself, I much rather just share the collection of thoughts that I have previously gathered throughout my waiting season. But before I go on to share, I wish to say this much.
Side note.
I want to make this note. While in my season of waiting, I found it quite difficult to find ANY material concerning records or accounts made by persons who were actually in their waiting journey. In fact, when I listened to or read present- day testimonies, I would get really discouraged.
I would think that I am the only person to go through a whole spell of drought for a looong time. It is only from reading Scripture that I have grown to really admire King David for his long wait. He is my role model. There are just only a few aspects to his personality I can relate to, and I barely even know him. Yet, I look up to him, for he wrote and wrote and wrote while in the heat of the moment. I am usually able to capture moments of his most intimate and honest thoughts, while being in the furnace, and his words move me, helping me to push through my own trial of time.
There are not many examples where I can find such evidence to build on why I am even on this faith journey. I say this because, it can be very discouraging when one keeps spinning around in circles with no real results... for a very long time, and you don’t really fit in the box like everyone else who speaks of overcoming in days, weeks, months, or even in a couple of years.
In fact, I would usually be led to believe that the shorter time given in the overcoming, one must have had greater faith. I really thought that I was cursed for a very long time. I once despised my life. I was really embarrassed about my life. I really thought this. But now, I have come to learn and understand to just appreciate the story of my life, just as it is, in all its uniqueness and be more in Communion with my Father.
Most usually give a testimony after the test. How silly am I to talk about my faith while in the test! I laugh at myself. Anyway...
I empathize for the ones who quietly remain walled off by their life situations. It is not the easiest thing to go on explaining to another how life can be so very isolating. One sits in his silence. Especially when the prison itself is not one that remains visible to the naked eye. I really extend my prayers for the silent ones, for I understand how tricky and demotivating it can really be to explain away one's life situation. I really get it. Judgment comes in the way to further block or wall off the case for the one who remains in much isolation. All I can say for the moment is that, in some cases, there are doors that remain shut that no man can open. But with time, and a great deal of patience, there would also be a time for those very same cases, when some doors would be open that no man can shut. This is the test of patiently enduring! I say no more.
End note.
I want to make this note. While in my season of waiting, I found it quite difficult to find ANY material concerning records or accounts made by persons who were actually in their waiting journey. In fact, when I listened to or read present- day testimonies, I would get really discouraged.
I would think that I am the only person to go through a whole spell of drought for a looong time. It is only from reading Scripture that I have grown to really admire King David for his long wait. He is my role model. There are just only a few aspects to his personality I can relate to, and I barely even know him. Yet, I look up to him, for he wrote and wrote and wrote while in the heat of the moment. I am usually able to capture moments of his most intimate and honest thoughts, while being in the furnace, and his words move me, helping me to push through my own trial of time.
There are not many examples where I can find such evidence to build on why I am even on this faith journey. I say this because, it can be very discouraging when one keeps spinning around in circles with no real results... for a very long time, and you don’t really fit in the box like everyone else who speaks of overcoming in days, weeks, months, or even in a couple of years.
In fact, I would usually be led to believe that the shorter time given in the overcoming, one must have had greater faith. I really thought that I was cursed for a very long time. I once despised my life. I was really embarrassed about my life. I really thought this. But now, I have come to learn and understand to just appreciate the story of my life, just as it is, in all its uniqueness and be more in Communion with my Father.
Most usually give a testimony after the test. How silly am I to talk about my faith while in the test! I laugh at myself. Anyway...
I empathize for the ones who quietly remain walled off by their life situations. It is not the easiest thing to go on explaining to another how life can be so very isolating. One sits in his silence. Especially when the prison itself is not one that remains visible to the naked eye. I really extend my prayers for the silent ones, for I understand how tricky and demotivating it can really be to explain away one's life situation. I really get it. Judgment comes in the way to further block or wall off the case for the one who remains in much isolation. All I can say for the moment is that, in some cases, there are doors that remain shut that no man can open. But with time, and a great deal of patience, there would also be a time for those very same cases, when some doors would be open that no man can shut. This is the test of patiently enduring! I say no more.
End note.
A Call to Wait: An Instruction
(Written on 29.08.22)
Let us say that you were told a specific message, and in this message that you were given, it was revealed to you a certain promise. Suppose then, that this promise would only be fulfilled on the condition that you were to comply with one specific instruction. Just one. Let us say then, that the criterion, on your part, for satisfying this condition was waiting. That is, suppose you were given the instruction to wait. Would you?
This may perhaps be the very question that any believer is posed with in their spiritual walk before they can actually step into God’s promises for their lives.
Let us admit here: Waiting can be a very hard thing, especially when God places a certain desire in our hearts. It is not a unique feeling what we experience while we wait. We all know the frustration and struggles that may come with waiting.
But as our Father in Heaven has us in mind, He only wants the best for us, free from harm and any danger. With His Fatherly love, He gives us sufficient time to prepare for all that He wants us to receive.
I do share with you, that waiting has been quite the struggle for me. It is much like the internal struggles that I face in my day- to- day spiritual walk. For this reason, I highlight the things that I reflect on when it comes to the act of waiting.
The first question that comes to my mind: Is waiting the same as patience?
What is patience anyway?
As I reflect, I view waiting as that which encompasses the element of the passage through time. From my perspective, it can mean, one casually allowing time to pass by. Yet, the time passes anyway, whether we want it to or not.
There is no indication however, of knowing the state of being while we pass that time. For example, we may be absolutely joyful while we wait, or perhaps, we may be completely anxious or angry while we are waiting for something to happen. Waiting then, gives liberty to the state of the one who is doing the action.
So then, how can patience be understood differently from waiting?
As I reflect, I view patience as a quality or attribute that introduces a further element that may limit the state or condition as time passes. It eliminates that anxious state. It speaks more to the character of endurance. The ability to be sustained satisfactorily through the passage of time, despite disappointments, short-comings, or even hardships.
So, for the believer, the command may be more about developing that quality of patience as a condition for God’s promise more so than merely waiting. But I do believe though, that waiting may lead one to eventually develop that quality of patience. We can start off waiting, then receive tonne loads of frustration, but through time, we begin to view certain things differently, our eyes being opened, our hearts being opened, and then much is given to us in order to sustain the ability of waiting for so much longer without quarrel or complaint.
So then, the next question: How does one move from the state of just waiting to a point where much patience is then given to them?
A lot can be said here, but all I can do, in my limited capacity, is shed light on what I, myself have experienced through the passage of time.
There was a moment in life, and yet still it is here, when I felt as though I was living in eternity neatly slotted in the box of time. Can you imagine what I am saying? I see everyone moving around with their daily activities, and I, being lost in my own life, feeling the slow hand of the clock, wondering to myself: Will I ever move on? Will I ever move at all?
At first sight, it can create quite the anxious feeling for oneself. Even while I try to do something, it is as though I keep moving around in circles. This is a tough place to be in. When you want to be productive, but you are just moving in all the wrong directions, out of step with your life. More importantly, out of step with God’s Will for your life.
But if, however, I had listened to the first instruction of literally: just waiting, I would have saved myself a great deal of pain and heartache. Was I listening? Surely not, for this instruction was given to me so many years prior and it took me so many years later to understand His instruction. By my fruitless endeavours to-ing and fro-ing, I finally understand His message of waiting.
Sometimes, God allows us to go through the wilderness as long as we need it, to fulfil many things. First, He can burn our energies out, until we finally decide to turn to Him in prayer and listen to His Word. He also reveals to us the secrets hidden in our hearts. Do we want to go His way or do we want go our own way? But through our failures, we still end becoming realigned with His way. I reflect on the following verses:
From the book of Deuteronomy Chapter eight:
2 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
For me, waiting brought up a few interesting concepts, some of which I would like to share with you.
While meditating on God’s Word, a thought came to me. I began to understand that though we receive time measured by years, months, days, hours or even seconds, real time is ordered by what we do.
So, our lives may be ordered by specific activities that occur in series and not merely described as the passage through time.
So then, I ask myself, is the time that we receive God’s time or our time? Who is the owner of time? Is this time on loan? Can we really dictate how much more time we have in the body that we hold on to? These thoughts brought much clarity as far as understanding my place in time. In my culture, we have this saying, that when we speak of the things we plan to do tomorrow, we always end the sentence by saying, “God’s Willing.” Surely, this expression of thought must mean something more than just a casual point to note. It is under God’s Will that we have time as we live to do all that He has called us to do. Once we understand that it is indeed time on loan, then we feel more purposed to go about our day with due diligence keeping in mind that we can never return to time once lost.
Another thought that was given to me is the idea that everything under the sun, upon the earth happens in due time. The key word here is due. For me, I understand the word to mean, the state of reaching a maturing point such that it is due and its function or purpose becomes activated and enacted.
In school, when we are given assignments, we usually have a due date. When someone is pregnant and expecting the birth of their child, they usually receive a due date.
The due date of something is really important for our lives. For if we are delivered prematurely into our purpose, we may fail to execute with confidence our given or assigned purpose or function.
Time is necessary in this case. Time is a resource gift, such that we are allowed to grow and develop so that we can eventually reach that maturing state. So, while we are given a specific desire in our hearts, and He promises certain things, He gives us more than enough time, to be processed and refined so that when we are tested and the fire is on, we still can stand firm and not waiver.
Time, therefore can be seen as our training ground, prior to our due date, such that we can deliver our purpose successfully through His Will. If we focus then, our minds on tasks that are aligned with His Will, every day we grow closer to our assigned purpose.
We no longer fret, for we enjoy every bit of the process. He never gives us more than we can handle, but He expects that we use the resource given to us to develop and grow into our set purpose. For some, this can be a short time, for others it may mean a whole lifetime before stepping in to your purpose, always remembering that everything occurs in its due time. I reflect on the following verses:
From the book of Sirach Chapter one:
23 The patient man will tear for a time, and afterward joy shall spring up unto him.
From the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter three:
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
From the book of Ephesians Chapter one:
9 He made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
For this reason, anything that we do, or that we have already experienced still adds, no matter how little, to your set purpose. We have been given the rich resource of being placed in various scenarios in the setting of our lives, yet in each circumstance, there is something to extract from the experience that slowly adds to the learning of our purpose.
We may not know it at the time we are going through it, but later activities remind us of what we had already gone through, giving us the confidence to know that we can indeed pull through the given circumstance, even if that present circumstance seems more complicated. Nothing then is ever wasted. Bad experiences can work out in the long run for you and for your purpose. Humbling beginnings usually have miraculous and really awesome endings.
Additionally, the process of waiting may help one to change their minds. I do not know about you, but for me, I am really glad that I did not receive all that I thought that I wanted in my younger years. Time brought much education on certain areas of my life, and because more insight was given to me at a later date, my opinion on a certain decision is a totally different one today.
Sometimes, we think we want an object, because we have been showcased that object. But does it really mean that we want that object? Or is it that we want that object because we can see it? The act of some object being showcased to us is a very influential tool, such that we may seemingly want something, but is it that we truly want it?
All that we desire are already written in our hearts. Indeed, God has placed all of eternity in our hearts. That is a very loaded statement! So, where do we look when we want to find out something about ourselves? Do we look outside for it? Or is it only to sit in silence with God’s Word, and let whatever flows from the heart come out to reveal to us what God himself has hidden inside of us. If we spend more time searching our heart, can we more readily find out and eventually determine what we are to do with the time that He has allotted to us. I reflect on the following verse:
From the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter three:
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
(Written on 29.08.22)
Let us say that you were told a specific message, and in this message that you were given, it was revealed to you a certain promise. Suppose then, that this promise would only be fulfilled on the condition that you were to comply with one specific instruction. Just one. Let us say then, that the criterion, on your part, for satisfying this condition was waiting. That is, suppose you were given the instruction to wait. Would you?
This may perhaps be the very question that any believer is posed with in their spiritual walk before they can actually step into God’s promises for their lives.
Let us admit here: Waiting can be a very hard thing, especially when God places a certain desire in our hearts. It is not a unique feeling what we experience while we wait. We all know the frustration and struggles that may come with waiting.
But as our Father in Heaven has us in mind, He only wants the best for us, free from harm and any danger. With His Fatherly love, He gives us sufficient time to prepare for all that He wants us to receive.
I do share with you, that waiting has been quite the struggle for me. It is much like the internal struggles that I face in my day- to- day spiritual walk. For this reason, I highlight the things that I reflect on when it comes to the act of waiting.
The first question that comes to my mind: Is waiting the same as patience?
What is patience anyway?
As I reflect, I view waiting as that which encompasses the element of the passage through time. From my perspective, it can mean, one casually allowing time to pass by. Yet, the time passes anyway, whether we want it to or not.
There is no indication however, of knowing the state of being while we pass that time. For example, we may be absolutely joyful while we wait, or perhaps, we may be completely anxious or angry while we are waiting for something to happen. Waiting then, gives liberty to the state of the one who is doing the action.
So then, how can patience be understood differently from waiting?
As I reflect, I view patience as a quality or attribute that introduces a further element that may limit the state or condition as time passes. It eliminates that anxious state. It speaks more to the character of endurance. The ability to be sustained satisfactorily through the passage of time, despite disappointments, short-comings, or even hardships.
So, for the believer, the command may be more about developing that quality of patience as a condition for God’s promise more so than merely waiting. But I do believe though, that waiting may lead one to eventually develop that quality of patience. We can start off waiting, then receive tonne loads of frustration, but through time, we begin to view certain things differently, our eyes being opened, our hearts being opened, and then much is given to us in order to sustain the ability of waiting for so much longer without quarrel or complaint.
So then, the next question: How does one move from the state of just waiting to a point where much patience is then given to them?
A lot can be said here, but all I can do, in my limited capacity, is shed light on what I, myself have experienced through the passage of time.
There was a moment in life, and yet still it is here, when I felt as though I was living in eternity neatly slotted in the box of time. Can you imagine what I am saying? I see everyone moving around with their daily activities, and I, being lost in my own life, feeling the slow hand of the clock, wondering to myself: Will I ever move on? Will I ever move at all?
At first sight, it can create quite the anxious feeling for oneself. Even while I try to do something, it is as though I keep moving around in circles. This is a tough place to be in. When you want to be productive, but you are just moving in all the wrong directions, out of step with your life. More importantly, out of step with God’s Will for your life.
But if, however, I had listened to the first instruction of literally: just waiting, I would have saved myself a great deal of pain and heartache. Was I listening? Surely not, for this instruction was given to me so many years prior and it took me so many years later to understand His instruction. By my fruitless endeavours to-ing and fro-ing, I finally understand His message of waiting.
Sometimes, God allows us to go through the wilderness as long as we need it, to fulfil many things. First, He can burn our energies out, until we finally decide to turn to Him in prayer and listen to His Word. He also reveals to us the secrets hidden in our hearts. Do we want to go His way or do we want go our own way? But through our failures, we still end becoming realigned with His way. I reflect on the following verses:
From the book of Deuteronomy Chapter eight:
2 Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.
3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.
For me, waiting brought up a few interesting concepts, some of which I would like to share with you.
While meditating on God’s Word, a thought came to me. I began to understand that though we receive time measured by years, months, days, hours or even seconds, real time is ordered by what we do.
So, our lives may be ordered by specific activities that occur in series and not merely described as the passage through time.
So then, I ask myself, is the time that we receive God’s time or our time? Who is the owner of time? Is this time on loan? Can we really dictate how much more time we have in the body that we hold on to? These thoughts brought much clarity as far as understanding my place in time. In my culture, we have this saying, that when we speak of the things we plan to do tomorrow, we always end the sentence by saying, “God’s Willing.” Surely, this expression of thought must mean something more than just a casual point to note. It is under God’s Will that we have time as we live to do all that He has called us to do. Once we understand that it is indeed time on loan, then we feel more purposed to go about our day with due diligence keeping in mind that we can never return to time once lost.
Another thought that was given to me is the idea that everything under the sun, upon the earth happens in due time. The key word here is due. For me, I understand the word to mean, the state of reaching a maturing point such that it is due and its function or purpose becomes activated and enacted.
In school, when we are given assignments, we usually have a due date. When someone is pregnant and expecting the birth of their child, they usually receive a due date.
The due date of something is really important for our lives. For if we are delivered prematurely into our purpose, we may fail to execute with confidence our given or assigned purpose or function.
Time is necessary in this case. Time is a resource gift, such that we are allowed to grow and develop so that we can eventually reach that maturing state. So, while we are given a specific desire in our hearts, and He promises certain things, He gives us more than enough time, to be processed and refined so that when we are tested and the fire is on, we still can stand firm and not waiver.
Time, therefore can be seen as our training ground, prior to our due date, such that we can deliver our purpose successfully through His Will. If we focus then, our minds on tasks that are aligned with His Will, every day we grow closer to our assigned purpose.
We no longer fret, for we enjoy every bit of the process. He never gives us more than we can handle, but He expects that we use the resource given to us to develop and grow into our set purpose. For some, this can be a short time, for others it may mean a whole lifetime before stepping in to your purpose, always remembering that everything occurs in its due time. I reflect on the following verses:
From the book of Sirach Chapter one:
23 The patient man will tear for a time, and afterward joy shall spring up unto him.
From the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter three:
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.
From the book of Ephesians Chapter one:
9 He made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
For this reason, anything that we do, or that we have already experienced still adds, no matter how little, to your set purpose. We have been given the rich resource of being placed in various scenarios in the setting of our lives, yet in each circumstance, there is something to extract from the experience that slowly adds to the learning of our purpose.
We may not know it at the time we are going through it, but later activities remind us of what we had already gone through, giving us the confidence to know that we can indeed pull through the given circumstance, even if that present circumstance seems more complicated. Nothing then is ever wasted. Bad experiences can work out in the long run for you and for your purpose. Humbling beginnings usually have miraculous and really awesome endings.
Additionally, the process of waiting may help one to change their minds. I do not know about you, but for me, I am really glad that I did not receive all that I thought that I wanted in my younger years. Time brought much education on certain areas of my life, and because more insight was given to me at a later date, my opinion on a certain decision is a totally different one today.
Sometimes, we think we want an object, because we have been showcased that object. But does it really mean that we want that object? Or is it that we want that object because we can see it? The act of some object being showcased to us is a very influential tool, such that we may seemingly want something, but is it that we truly want it?
All that we desire are already written in our hearts. Indeed, God has placed all of eternity in our hearts. That is a very loaded statement! So, where do we look when we want to find out something about ourselves? Do we look outside for it? Or is it only to sit in silence with God’s Word, and let whatever flows from the heart come out to reveal to us what God himself has hidden inside of us. If we spend more time searching our heart, can we more readily find out and eventually determine what we are to do with the time that He has allotted to us. I reflect on the following verse:
From the book of Ecclesiastes Chapter three:
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
REFLECTION 1:-
The container stands quite blandly and feebly on the sturdy table, with a covering that wears a translucently clear appearance. The top shows off its mystified ways to unendingly cap and trap the things that can never be heard, felt or explored. The many secrets that lie within the much hollow cavity, the many things that form the pith of this feeble container. The clear appearance of its substance belies something so much more debilitating, to be held in captivity. The many haunted experiences, the many apoptotic thoughts, the daunting whispers that yearn to shout. The foment of its time, the internal machinations, the rumbling and tumbling that sets its pace within. A sly glance to the bottom on which all this transparency beats about, reveals the flaking. Layers peeling below, but the remains of which still holds on only to the confines of this container, never really making contact with its contents. The sealed container holds quite still on this sturdy table. Never really revealing the stories that it keeps wishing to believe. For the external one looking in may think. Perhaps nothing is within, only a vacuum. But is a vacuum really nothing, or does it speak to the promise of something? For if nothing is there, then what keeps the confines of this container in perfect equilibrium with itself? How can we really delve deeper to figure out the existence of this absence. Do we really want to go there? For if we dare to peer through while uncovering this cap, would it not only draw from the things around, to assume the colour, the traces of all that abounds? Alternatively, if perhaps the container is left to be heated, would it, if something is actually there, the contents within, would it not become so expanded to the point of explosion and then eventual obliteration? The clear sight of this container gives no hint to what it can actually do. Just still it remains on this sturdy table. It decides to neither shrink to be imploded nor expand to its limit. It just stays there in constant equilibrium, never really releasing what it holds. There is still a gap, a discrepancy that remains. The defect in communication between the inner and outer worlds. The contrast that builds over time. There is a pause, a hesitancy to open what continues to remain unknown. There is a brewing fear and anxiety, the unpleasant anticipation of coming to terms with the outcome. The conscience now has conversation with itself. It dares to find out what is hidden in the confines of this container, it wants to open it, it wants to discover, but at the same time, it is too afraid of what might be discovered. It knows, it feels, the unsettling waves that it holds. Yet forever still it seemingly appears to be. The cap makes the big difference between slavery and freedom, living in fear or living in love, between the known and the unknown. Either way, there is risk, on either side of this channel. The cap of this container holding the key to what potentially can be, to be set free what was always hidden in plain sight. No longer to be held captive by those daunting and haunting thoughts, no longer slave to those dark images once held, no longer bonded by what was kept hidden. Just only to be free, just only to be. The cap grows thinner with thought. As time wears on, the outer grows closer to the inner, until at last, there is convergence for the inner and the outer, no longer serving as layers. There is oneness, the opposites meet to neutralize to give merit to the other. For there never really was that stillness, that apparent silence, for while on the outer side, the inner called quite desperately to meet with the outer, it called and shouted, it wanted to be noticed and recognized by the outer. The cap gave light to this event for time was needed, urgency was critical for the convergence to even begin to occur. For a vacuum was never really there, the seeming image just only to deceive to lead the outer eye to question, to probe and to finally decide to meet with that inner world.
The container stands quite blandly and feebly on the sturdy table, with a covering that wears a translucently clear appearance. The top shows off its mystified ways to unendingly cap and trap the things that can never be heard, felt or explored. The many secrets that lie within the much hollow cavity, the many things that form the pith of this feeble container. The clear appearance of its substance belies something so much more debilitating, to be held in captivity. The many haunted experiences, the many apoptotic thoughts, the daunting whispers that yearn to shout. The foment of its time, the internal machinations, the rumbling and tumbling that sets its pace within. A sly glance to the bottom on which all this transparency beats about, reveals the flaking. Layers peeling below, but the remains of which still holds on only to the confines of this container, never really making contact with its contents. The sealed container holds quite still on this sturdy table. Never really revealing the stories that it keeps wishing to believe. For the external one looking in may think. Perhaps nothing is within, only a vacuum. But is a vacuum really nothing, or does it speak to the promise of something? For if nothing is there, then what keeps the confines of this container in perfect equilibrium with itself? How can we really delve deeper to figure out the existence of this absence. Do we really want to go there? For if we dare to peer through while uncovering this cap, would it not only draw from the things around, to assume the colour, the traces of all that abounds? Alternatively, if perhaps the container is left to be heated, would it, if something is actually there, the contents within, would it not become so expanded to the point of explosion and then eventual obliteration? The clear sight of this container gives no hint to what it can actually do. Just still it remains on this sturdy table. It decides to neither shrink to be imploded nor expand to its limit. It just stays there in constant equilibrium, never really releasing what it holds. There is still a gap, a discrepancy that remains. The defect in communication between the inner and outer worlds. The contrast that builds over time. There is a pause, a hesitancy to open what continues to remain unknown. There is a brewing fear and anxiety, the unpleasant anticipation of coming to terms with the outcome. The conscience now has conversation with itself. It dares to find out what is hidden in the confines of this container, it wants to open it, it wants to discover, but at the same time, it is too afraid of what might be discovered. It knows, it feels, the unsettling waves that it holds. Yet forever still it seemingly appears to be. The cap makes the big difference between slavery and freedom, living in fear or living in love, between the known and the unknown. Either way, there is risk, on either side of this channel. The cap of this container holding the key to what potentially can be, to be set free what was always hidden in plain sight. No longer to be held captive by those daunting and haunting thoughts, no longer slave to those dark images once held, no longer bonded by what was kept hidden. Just only to be free, just only to be. The cap grows thinner with thought. As time wears on, the outer grows closer to the inner, until at last, there is convergence for the inner and the outer, no longer serving as layers. There is oneness, the opposites meet to neutralize to give merit to the other. For there never really was that stillness, that apparent silence, for while on the outer side, the inner called quite desperately to meet with the outer, it called and shouted, it wanted to be noticed and recognized by the outer. The cap gave light to this event for time was needed, urgency was critical for the convergence to even begin to occur. For a vacuum was never really there, the seeming image just only to deceive to lead the outer eye to question, to probe and to finally decide to meet with that inner world.
This piece depicts our frequent encounters with the conflicts that arise when there is great disparity between our inner and outer worlds. It begs the question, which do we more feel inclined to listen to? But more importantly, which one of these can we actually hear? For the outer world, it is very palpable to our existence, but sometimes we may reject the idea that an inner world even actually exists. To ignore the existence of such a thing may cause us great distress in the long run, for while the inner desperately tries to call out to you, you somehow lead it to its slow death and then misery comes calling. This break in communication can then possibly lead to the great anxieties and sensations of downward spiral feelings that sometimes consume our very beings. Especially much to the demise of the sensitive one. There is the challenge then to keep our endeavours in listening to those silent whispers that works feverishly to be ever heard. To grow still in reverberance to this silent voice that hopes that you one day can hear and listen to its calling.
REFLECTION 2 :-
Oftentimes, we find ourselves lost, confused and disoriented to our present situation, entangled by all the eclectic mixes of stimuli that for a time entice us; appease us to reach that point of satiety to make us feel that there is no longer a need to search for something. But this is only for a time. A little longer again and that sensation reappears; the one that makes us think that the search is not over. But what do we do when we are in this entangled state? You begin to realize a pattern beginning to take form; some elements to your life that begin to assume a repetitive fashion that neatly take their place into your quotidian lifestyle. What can you do? What will you do? The full sense of yourself is only a distant memory and as such, is kept untouched, buried deep below, contorted and misconstrued by what you know now is, but there is turbulence, great turbulence that finds its way in the path. It is something that you never anticipated, but it begins to provoke you for some time. It is there for a reason. The turbulence keeps propping up to remind you of something that keeps you in this disquieted state. It keeps you there, provoking the disorder that perpetually stays with you. It keeps fighting, struggling, trying to make its way to the surface. It is the chaos inside of you that keeps you in this disoriented phase. But is disorientation a really bad thing? For in this disoriented state, there are many directions; not just one, there are decisions that you have not yet discovered or even thought of. The disorientation shifts your focus. While strongly determined to set sail in one direction, the turbulence and hence the disorientation lets you know of the other possible directions that you can take, but you just don't know it as yet as you remain in that confused state. So, what can you really do? What is real? What is material? What is the most tangible way to go? But if what you see is the only real direction then, does it mean that no other option is present? For these things remain unknown to you that is, unless no real obstacle remains in that path that you have set sail. So, what can you trust when everything around you seems to be transient making its exit when you place attention on it? In the midst of entanglement, there is something always there; like cords entangled; like crossing roots. When doubts begin to appear, there is a tracing, a delicate tracing. From this tracing was once started its origin; a path that was initially made. So, when fears come in to blind you from seeing the path that you are to course through, always then, look towards the source. From this source, you can trace the path. Even in the midst of confusion, though many knots find their way, it is quite the fascination to begin tracing, or more like retracing your steps, delineating what originally was and will always be. So, were you really lost after all? Are you really confused when turbulence sets itself up on the path? The state of disorientation forces you to keep focused on the tracing; the path set from its beginning. It keeps telling you to stay focused on your path helping you to unwire and keep patience to what was and so will always be
Oftentimes, we find ourselves lost, confused and disoriented to our present situation, entangled by all the eclectic mixes of stimuli that for a time entice us; appease us to reach that point of satiety to make us feel that there is no longer a need to search for something. But this is only for a time. A little longer again and that sensation reappears; the one that makes us think that the search is not over. But what do we do when we are in this entangled state? You begin to realize a pattern beginning to take form; some elements to your life that begin to assume a repetitive fashion that neatly take their place into your quotidian lifestyle. What can you do? What will you do? The full sense of yourself is only a distant memory and as such, is kept untouched, buried deep below, contorted and misconstrued by what you know now is, but there is turbulence, great turbulence that finds its way in the path. It is something that you never anticipated, but it begins to provoke you for some time. It is there for a reason. The turbulence keeps propping up to remind you of something that keeps you in this disquieted state. It keeps you there, provoking the disorder that perpetually stays with you. It keeps fighting, struggling, trying to make its way to the surface. It is the chaos inside of you that keeps you in this disoriented phase. But is disorientation a really bad thing? For in this disoriented state, there are many directions; not just one, there are decisions that you have not yet discovered or even thought of. The disorientation shifts your focus. While strongly determined to set sail in one direction, the turbulence and hence the disorientation lets you know of the other possible directions that you can take, but you just don't know it as yet as you remain in that confused state. So, what can you really do? What is real? What is material? What is the most tangible way to go? But if what you see is the only real direction then, does it mean that no other option is present? For these things remain unknown to you that is, unless no real obstacle remains in that path that you have set sail. So, what can you trust when everything around you seems to be transient making its exit when you place attention on it? In the midst of entanglement, there is something always there; like cords entangled; like crossing roots. When doubts begin to appear, there is a tracing, a delicate tracing. From this tracing was once started its origin; a path that was initially made. So, when fears come in to blind you from seeing the path that you are to course through, always then, look towards the source. From this source, you can trace the path. Even in the midst of confusion, though many knots find their way, it is quite the fascination to begin tracing, or more like retracing your steps, delineating what originally was and will always be. So, were you really lost after all? Are you really confused when turbulence sets itself up on the path? The state of disorientation forces you to keep focused on the tracing; the path set from its beginning. It keeps telling you to stay focused on your path helping you to unwire and keep patience to what was and so will always be
|| Appointed Time
Please stop thinking that one may be too old for this or too young for that.
Even stop believing after being told that as above.
Everything under the Sun, comes and goes at its appointed time.
If one rushes, life will teach him and show him exactly why he needed to wait.
If he waits too long, life will prompt the one or inject what may catalyze his work in progress.
Either way, have patience with the self in all that you do. Get anxious for nothing. Never rush, but at the same time, never delay.
For the blissful life only comes when we allow life to have its perfect timing, leaning in to life’s way.
As long as there is breath, there is life.
As long as there is life, there is will.
As long as there is will, there is purpose.
As long as there is purpose, there is influence.
Once all these four areas are satisfied, then there is life’s fulfilment.
# Life’s Will. God’s Will and timing. God’s way and timing.
20.12.22
Please stop thinking that one may be too old for this or too young for that.
Even stop believing after being told that as above.
Everything under the Sun, comes and goes at its appointed time.
If one rushes, life will teach him and show him exactly why he needed to wait.
If he waits too long, life will prompt the one or inject what may catalyze his work in progress.
Either way, have patience with the self in all that you do. Get anxious for nothing. Never rush, but at the same time, never delay.
For the blissful life only comes when we allow life to have its perfect timing, leaning in to life’s way.
As long as there is breath, there is life.
As long as there is life, there is will.
As long as there is will, there is purpose.
As long as there is purpose, there is influence.
Once all these four areas are satisfied, then there is life’s fulfilment.
# Life’s Will. God’s Will and timing. God’s way and timing.
20.12.22
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