So, now I have been posed with a question. My Teacher, Abba, is starting to ask me questions. He is interviewing me. He wants to find out certain things from me. I share with you this one assignment that He has given me to try.
QUESTION:
Marisa, provide five insightful ways of how the task of waiting has enriched your life.
Marisa, provide five insightful ways of how the task of waiting has enriched your life.
RESPONSE:
Dear Lord,
You have given me much to think about. As it is, I still stand in awe of the things that You have already revealed to me. There is no end as to how much You reveal to me. You are my Teacher. You are also my Father and now You are interested to know how much I have actually grasped while being under care, as much as I consciously know.
I beg not to look at the duration of time spent waiting to be measured in days, months, or even years. For I myself have come to realize that it is not about the exact timing being measured. What is more the case is that one waits. From that eternal perspective, there is no time limit when You set an instruction.
Now, You ask me to furnish You with five insightful ways of how the task of waiting has enriched my life. Silence!
I think for a moment.
I answer this question on the assumption that time spent ‘waiting’ is the same as time spent with You. For, in the wait, this is the case.
So, now I answer the question from the perspective of how my life has changed just by being in your presence.
1. Developing Intimacy
It is very interesting for me to note, that I have always shied away from the normal ‘human’ interactions when the topic of intimacy comes up. From a relational perspective, I am quite shy to show the many layers of colours hidden beneath me, especially when the layered colours do not match the tone or frequency of the others around.
But You have taught me a great deal. For though, You are God, I see so many humanistic and relational qualities about You. I see a person when I consider You. I witness sides to You, just like I would any other person. You have been teaching me about something that I have shied away from for so many years. You are teaching me to start breaking down my communication barriers when it comes to close human relations. Sometimes, I do get anxious while talking to You. There are times, I may even get a little overwhelmed by those many thoughts that You choose to share with me. But You help me to relax in Your presence and to just enjoy being in Your presence without any obvious speculation or judgment placed upon me.
You opened up certain wounds, so that You can reach in and help me to deal with my flawed thoughts and assumptions. You have opened up my appreciation for understanding that a lot can be learnt when one interacts with another. You have opened up my way of thinking, understanding that each one carries a world of thoughts within him, and so the social interaction helps to mingle two or more worlds.
Because of my closer interaction with You, I have come to respect human boundaries, differences in values and differences in perspectives.
There is something else. I have grown to trust more. For I know now that You are there to filter through my many interactions. I lean on You to guide my interactions. I learn to trust You, even with my interactions.
2. Developing an Eternal Mindset
It is quite funny! You once asked me, ‘So Marisa, what are you going to do with all of that time spent in eternity?’ This question jerked me for a bit, when You asked. For I never actually thought about it before. This question totally shifted my thought pattern. For I mostly think about now, intermediate or even the intermediately distant future.
But this question really opened my eyes to push past present situations or events and perhaps look towards the far future. Also, when one thinks eternally, there is really no rush to do anything on a fitted time schedule the way one thinks about the short hours found in a day, that is, if one lives the busy life.
But what has this question done to me exactly? Well, Your question has helped me to see the bigger picture. From that eternal perspective, my present challenges seem like only a drop in the bucket, if even less than. Thinking eternally helps me to get past my temporary challenges. It also removes the hope, faith and trust in the temporary, for that too, will soon vanish. Just being in Your eternal presence helps me to understand this much.
Further, the time that I spend with You allows me to receive more of your thoughts and ideas about the future. Knowledge of the things You have been sharing with me in Your teachings and guidance through Your Word take away the fear and anxiety, even in this present moment. Knowledge of You instils much insight and confidence.
Just being in Your presence in this time, helps to increase not only my awareness of You, but also awareness of my own self. You show me the things about myself that I need to change and You break down exactly how to go about experiencing such changes, as You walk me towards Your eternal ways. Additionally, You bring out certain qualities about me that I myself never knew about. You challenge me to think more deeply and consistently. You probe my heart and help me to see myself the way I am, through my responses.
3. Building Trust and Commitment
So, waiting certainly has its down sides. As You know, when I first started entering into my faith journey, that was a complete ‘flop’. Lol. I probably failed every last bit of your commands, for I really did not understand the way You communicated with me. I just did my own thing and hoped for the best.
But I do remember, that faithful day, when I profusely cried out to You, because I really wanted change in my life. I had absolutely no idea how to go about initiating such changes. Everything always seemed easier for everyone else to make certain transitions. Mine seemed like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
It is in my own deepest confusion, when You really showed me your Hand. You revealed yourself to me. For the first time, I actually understood! It was at this point, that I remember not only taking this walk seriously, but I decided to start my trust journey with You. For me, trusting and letting go can be the scariest bit on my end.
But along the way, just being in Your presence and allowing You to show up for me, really showed me your commitment and your faithfulness. You can change my mood around in an instant. You physically healed me on numerous occasions, when I prayed about certain things. You furnish me with your peace in moments of high turbulence. You have also shown me certain skills I never knew I had, but had to use them to overcome certain challenges.
At the beginning, I was a little afraid to let myself go, but with time, You really showed your Hand in helping me to get through the rough patches.
I also extend this thought much. You also me help to start trusting in another. For I already trust You with managing the relations that I keep.
Because You show your Hand, You also teach me to be the same. You teach me faithfulness. You even reflect to me, how I can relate with another in a much loving way.
4. Seeing the World through Your Eyes
This may seem like very much the unreachable task. But just because of the nature of the questions that You ask me, this helps me to stretch my imagination only just a teeny- weeny bit further than my usual self, to conceptualize what I really cannot. Lol.
Sometimes, You drop a line for me and my response is ‘wait..hold on...I need a few days to go over in my head what You just said.’ Sometimes, I find myself lost in thought.
When You say something, sometimes it takes two grand years to figure out what You were actually telling me two years prior. One day, it just hits me like ‘OH MY !! Did You really just say that?’ I take a while to catch on to your previous statements, the realization of which catches me in much laughter. Simply put, You talk over my head and it takes me a while to figure what indeed, what You are actually saying.
Sometimes, I think You are referring to something in the present, when in fact, You really meant it for years further down the road. You often catch me by surprise, when I do find out what You were saying all along.
Apart from this idea, You help me to see the world through Your Word. Your Word acts as a filter or lens for me to see what I myself am just not able to witness. You help me to detect patterns or trends seen in everyday happenings. When I look at something, I remember your Word, what you have said about it. Your Word is memorable in my mind, and so I carry your thoughts with me when trying to think through certain interpretations of what I see in the much outer world. Thank You!
Now on to my final thought. The fifth point.
I extrapolate from the previous point. Because You show me certain things, You also reveal to me certain ways to respond in both body and mind. Your Script provides much evidence and set precedence for all that takes place on this world stage. You personally have created the characters of all the actors who act their parts out on the world stage. Some really enjoy their roles. Others really, really enjoy their roles. Then there are others who despise the part they have to commit to.
Nonetheless, You set the rules, and we all play the part as per the Script, which You have written and we play exactly as it is written, in the order that it is written.
From this point of view, it doesn’t leave much guessing the part that I am to play. For everything is already written. However, my time away in being with You certainly does help me to commit to the part that You have me play. You give me strength and the endurance to help me play the part as best as I can. Your Holy Spirit gives me much insight, that is, I receive visions ahead of time to know the trouble that comes my way. I also receive much help to assist me in the overcoming.
It is then, that I have learnt through time that such challenges are presented, such that I play my part, while glorifying your Holy Name.
In conclusion, when I consider my waiting journey and the elements involved, I think to myself, that in no way, could I have learnt more about You so closely. In no other way, could I have learnt to trust in Your Helping Hand. There was no other way that You could have reached me in a manner that I would completely understand the things that You wish to reveal to me. You have pulled me out of time’s way to learn and appreciate your eternal ways. This is the value that I have found while waiting.
You have given me much to think about. As it is, I still stand in awe of the things that You have already revealed to me. There is no end as to how much You reveal to me. You are my Teacher. You are also my Father and now You are interested to know how much I have actually grasped while being under care, as much as I consciously know.
I beg not to look at the duration of time spent waiting to be measured in days, months, or even years. For I myself have come to realize that it is not about the exact timing being measured. What is more the case is that one waits. From that eternal perspective, there is no time limit when You set an instruction.
Now, You ask me to furnish You with five insightful ways of how the task of waiting has enriched my life. Silence!
I think for a moment.
I answer this question on the assumption that time spent ‘waiting’ is the same as time spent with You. For, in the wait, this is the case.
So, now I answer the question from the perspective of how my life has changed just by being in your presence.
1. Developing Intimacy
It is very interesting for me to note, that I have always shied away from the normal ‘human’ interactions when the topic of intimacy comes up. From a relational perspective, I am quite shy to show the many layers of colours hidden beneath me, especially when the layered colours do not match the tone or frequency of the others around.
But You have taught me a great deal. For though, You are God, I see so many humanistic and relational qualities about You. I see a person when I consider You. I witness sides to You, just like I would any other person. You have been teaching me about something that I have shied away from for so many years. You are teaching me to start breaking down my communication barriers when it comes to close human relations. Sometimes, I do get anxious while talking to You. There are times, I may even get a little overwhelmed by those many thoughts that You choose to share with me. But You help me to relax in Your presence and to just enjoy being in Your presence without any obvious speculation or judgment placed upon me.
You opened up certain wounds, so that You can reach in and help me to deal with my flawed thoughts and assumptions. You have opened up my appreciation for understanding that a lot can be learnt when one interacts with another. You have opened up my way of thinking, understanding that each one carries a world of thoughts within him, and so the social interaction helps to mingle two or more worlds.
Because of my closer interaction with You, I have come to respect human boundaries, differences in values and differences in perspectives.
There is something else. I have grown to trust more. For I know now that You are there to filter through my many interactions. I lean on You to guide my interactions. I learn to trust You, even with my interactions.
2. Developing an Eternal Mindset
It is quite funny! You once asked me, ‘So Marisa, what are you going to do with all of that time spent in eternity?’ This question jerked me for a bit, when You asked. For I never actually thought about it before. This question totally shifted my thought pattern. For I mostly think about now, intermediate or even the intermediately distant future.
But this question really opened my eyes to push past present situations or events and perhaps look towards the far future. Also, when one thinks eternally, there is really no rush to do anything on a fitted time schedule the way one thinks about the short hours found in a day, that is, if one lives the busy life.
But what has this question done to me exactly? Well, Your question has helped me to see the bigger picture. From that eternal perspective, my present challenges seem like only a drop in the bucket, if even less than. Thinking eternally helps me to get past my temporary challenges. It also removes the hope, faith and trust in the temporary, for that too, will soon vanish. Just being in Your eternal presence helps me to understand this much.
Further, the time that I spend with You allows me to receive more of your thoughts and ideas about the future. Knowledge of the things You have been sharing with me in Your teachings and guidance through Your Word take away the fear and anxiety, even in this present moment. Knowledge of You instils much insight and confidence.
Just being in Your presence in this time, helps to increase not only my awareness of You, but also awareness of my own self. You show me the things about myself that I need to change and You break down exactly how to go about experiencing such changes, as You walk me towards Your eternal ways. Additionally, You bring out certain qualities about me that I myself never knew about. You challenge me to think more deeply and consistently. You probe my heart and help me to see myself the way I am, through my responses.
3. Building Trust and Commitment
So, waiting certainly has its down sides. As You know, when I first started entering into my faith journey, that was a complete ‘flop’. Lol. I probably failed every last bit of your commands, for I really did not understand the way You communicated with me. I just did my own thing and hoped for the best.
But I do remember, that faithful day, when I profusely cried out to You, because I really wanted change in my life. I had absolutely no idea how to go about initiating such changes. Everything always seemed easier for everyone else to make certain transitions. Mine seemed like MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.
It is in my own deepest confusion, when You really showed me your Hand. You revealed yourself to me. For the first time, I actually understood! It was at this point, that I remember not only taking this walk seriously, but I decided to start my trust journey with You. For me, trusting and letting go can be the scariest bit on my end.
But along the way, just being in Your presence and allowing You to show up for me, really showed me your commitment and your faithfulness. You can change my mood around in an instant. You physically healed me on numerous occasions, when I prayed about certain things. You furnish me with your peace in moments of high turbulence. You have also shown me certain skills I never knew I had, but had to use them to overcome certain challenges.
At the beginning, I was a little afraid to let myself go, but with time, You really showed your Hand in helping me to get through the rough patches.
I also extend this thought much. You also me help to start trusting in another. For I already trust You with managing the relations that I keep.
Because You show your Hand, You also teach me to be the same. You teach me faithfulness. You even reflect to me, how I can relate with another in a much loving way.
4. Seeing the World through Your Eyes
This may seem like very much the unreachable task. But just because of the nature of the questions that You ask me, this helps me to stretch my imagination only just a teeny- weeny bit further than my usual self, to conceptualize what I really cannot. Lol.
Sometimes, You drop a line for me and my response is ‘wait..hold on...I need a few days to go over in my head what You just said.’ Sometimes, I find myself lost in thought.
When You say something, sometimes it takes two grand years to figure out what You were actually telling me two years prior. One day, it just hits me like ‘OH MY !! Did You really just say that?’ I take a while to catch on to your previous statements, the realization of which catches me in much laughter. Simply put, You talk over my head and it takes me a while to figure what indeed, what You are actually saying.
Sometimes, I think You are referring to something in the present, when in fact, You really meant it for years further down the road. You often catch me by surprise, when I do find out what You were saying all along.
Apart from this idea, You help me to see the world through Your Word. Your Word acts as a filter or lens for me to see what I myself am just not able to witness. You help me to detect patterns or trends seen in everyday happenings. When I look at something, I remember your Word, what you have said about it. Your Word is memorable in my mind, and so I carry your thoughts with me when trying to think through certain interpretations of what I see in the much outer world. Thank You!
Now on to my final thought. The fifth point.
I extrapolate from the previous point. Because You show me certain things, You also reveal to me certain ways to respond in both body and mind. Your Script provides much evidence and set precedence for all that takes place on this world stage. You personally have created the characters of all the actors who act their parts out on the world stage. Some really enjoy their roles. Others really, really enjoy their roles. Then there are others who despise the part they have to commit to.
Nonetheless, You set the rules, and we all play the part as per the Script, which You have written and we play exactly as it is written, in the order that it is written.
From this point of view, it doesn’t leave much guessing the part that I am to play. For everything is already written. However, my time away in being with You certainly does help me to commit to the part that You have me play. You give me strength and the endurance to help me play the part as best as I can. Your Holy Spirit gives me much insight, that is, I receive visions ahead of time to know the trouble that comes my way. I also receive much help to assist me in the overcoming.
It is then, that I have learnt through time that such challenges are presented, such that I play my part, while glorifying your Holy Name.
In conclusion, when I consider my waiting journey and the elements involved, I think to myself, that in no way, could I have learnt more about You so closely. In no other way, could I have learnt to trust in Your Helping Hand. There was no other way that You could have reached me in a manner that I would completely understand the things that You wish to reveal to me. You have pulled me out of time’s way to learn and appreciate your eternal ways. This is the value that I have found while waiting.
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