Now, for the moment, I choose to focus my thoughts on what momentum means to me. I take not the scientific approach, plugging in variables to get me closer to understanding its meaning. Rather, I take much the reflective approach, as I am very familiar in the application of such word.
I remember when I was a little girl spending time scrubbing the walls of the house or the grounds of the yard where I resided. From my perspective, at that age, I would view the walls to be these tall and lengthy structures. Before I even started, it used to seem somewhat overwhelming to even begin. I remember applying effort from the back and forth and circular motions of my extended arm and forearm. I remember the wall to bucket and bucket to wall actions that I usually assumed in trying to get the soapy water to reach the walls of the house. This was most likely the first memory of an exercise that allowed me to see and understand the meaning of the term momentum. Though, I most likely did not know the actual term at the time, but I certainly used its application to help me get my chores done.
Retracing the steps at that time, I was very bright eyed to help with cleaning, more particularly, in the outdoor spaces. I was always up for the challenge. I did not know if I was able to clean in a long or large stretch, but I certainly wanted to challenge myself when I was this little girl. I always use this example to help me throughout my life with anything else that I needed to get done. So, now I am going to replay those very experiences in the attempt of expressing my understanding of the term momentum.
From the outset, it would seem a bit too much to take on when I considered the type of effort and time that were required to finish this project. However, I always held on to strong vision, believing that I could indeed, visualize a nice sparkling white wall at the end of the exercise. I thought about how I would feel at the end, when I saw a change or difference, once work was applied. Little to no motivation came from monetary gain. My main motivation was that I wanted to see a wall cleaner than it was before I started this project. In this regard, having a vision means so much more to me than receiving some physical reward in exchange for work. I would say that my rewards mostly come from intrinsic spaces. I feel much happier and at ease when I begin to see difference or change. Now, I understand to myself, how important vision is for me in order to begin any type of work. I value so much more seeing the result or outcome.
Now, traversing through my pre-teen year old brain, I remember visually chopping the space of the wall into many quadrants. It was easier to begin when I chopped the space into quarters, into fifths, into eighths and so on. Any other way, it would have impossible for me to begin. I also started in places where I could actually reach. This meant beginning at foot level and working my way up. While in progress, I studied much the way the dirt or dust clung to the tiny spaces of the wall. I studied how the direction of the scrubbing action influenced whether dust would be rubbed off or exfoliated. I spent a great deal of time actually witnessing the movements of the dirt or dust with the movement of the hand and the flow of the water in the background of the textured walls. I was always very present with each scrub. My objective was to see a clean wall, and so I wanted to figure out, in my own little head, what was the best approach. It did mean, that I worked in much silence. I enjoy working in silence. This is when I become the most productive. I put a lot of intention into what I am working on, and use the eye to see the minute progress made with each pocket of effort. I work in a sustained way, until I begin to see some progress. It is the minute changes that come with each little added pocket of effort that truly bring much satisfaction my way. I do believe it is at this step, that I learnt the meaning of momentum.
Now, there is something more interesting that I would like to share. It is the idea, that no one is actually going to expect or anticipate much from someone when the work seems copious, especially for one person. It was this very thought that secures me in a blanket of wanting to work. In an environment where there is little to no expectation, my enthusiasm for work propels to very high levels. I work best, when there is no expectation. Period. Anticipation and external expectations are factors that, I have observed, truly influence my momentum. Having the fear of judgment really sets me up for much failure, when I think about it. When these external factors are minimized, there is a grace to continue the flow of the hands against the wall, and a natural rhythm is found. Very little thought spent on how good or bad a job takes away the anxieties associated with the judgment on effort. When no one expects anything, there is so much freedom to experiment with different methods, having the room to make mistakes and come up with practical solutions. Though, having a vision is quite necessary, I do believe that target results and emphasised outcomes have a part to play on how strongly someone can hold on to a momentous force. Building momentum also means leaving much room for mistakes and extending a grace period to learn how to overcome these challenges.
As I continue to recall those steps, what comes to mind is the idea that I held on to, that is, the idea of finishing what I started. I am not really the procrastinating type. In fact, I am actually the anxious type, very anxious to complete my projects, once started. Because I am more visual, and achieve satisfaction through very much, the physical display of the outcome, it is this very idea that propels me to finish what I have started. I understand that a lot of anxiety can built up inside a person, if, for some reason, they have lost sight or even lost a sense of reason for completing certain actions. It is the vision that helps guide me along.
Though an action can be very repetitive, the path or journey is usually not homogenous along the full distance. Some sections of the wall posed a much greater challenge than earlies sections. Sometimes, it is in these changes, that a lot of frustration can be built up. However difficult the road, it was always that vision that I secretly held inside of me that kept my arms in constant flow. I was so determined to complete what I started, even if it meant feeling broken, feeling mashed up, I was so determined to still finish what I started.
As I reflect now, my younger self teaches me so much. It is in those gaps or spaces of life, when nothing seems to be working out or there is no physical or outward change that seems to be happening, it can be very frustrating and confusing to figure out which way to go. For an absolutely long time, I felt as though my whole life was a mistake, for I had absolutely no idea where I would begin to see the physical fruits of my thoughts and my hands and my works. For a very long time, I kept feeling as though all my efforts were just emptied into this black hole, never to be seen again. It takes a moment to remember those times when I placed effort on something as basic as a wall, which would get back dirty anyway, to highlight the action of faith.
Faith is practised the most when we are just not able to see the reward or outcomes of the works performed. Sometimes even, it is not about the aesthetics or how something looks or outwardly appears that matters. There are certain special ingredients that are at work that go far beyond what my eyes could see. It is not about waiting for some external person to grant me the permission to continue my work. It is about having the faith to continue doing it anyway. I still do it anyway.
I now look back and realize that though momentum can be achieved through looking, and noticing the changes that one wishes to see in his life, it takes a deeper look at faith to know and understand that it is not always about sight.
I remember when I was a little girl spending time scrubbing the walls of the house or the grounds of the yard where I resided. From my perspective, at that age, I would view the walls to be these tall and lengthy structures. Before I even started, it used to seem somewhat overwhelming to even begin. I remember applying effort from the back and forth and circular motions of my extended arm and forearm. I remember the wall to bucket and bucket to wall actions that I usually assumed in trying to get the soapy water to reach the walls of the house. This was most likely the first memory of an exercise that allowed me to see and understand the meaning of the term momentum. Though, I most likely did not know the actual term at the time, but I certainly used its application to help me get my chores done.
Retracing the steps at that time, I was very bright eyed to help with cleaning, more particularly, in the outdoor spaces. I was always up for the challenge. I did not know if I was able to clean in a long or large stretch, but I certainly wanted to challenge myself when I was this little girl. I always use this example to help me throughout my life with anything else that I needed to get done. So, now I am going to replay those very experiences in the attempt of expressing my understanding of the term momentum.
From the outset, it would seem a bit too much to take on when I considered the type of effort and time that were required to finish this project. However, I always held on to strong vision, believing that I could indeed, visualize a nice sparkling white wall at the end of the exercise. I thought about how I would feel at the end, when I saw a change or difference, once work was applied. Little to no motivation came from monetary gain. My main motivation was that I wanted to see a wall cleaner than it was before I started this project. In this regard, having a vision means so much more to me than receiving some physical reward in exchange for work. I would say that my rewards mostly come from intrinsic spaces. I feel much happier and at ease when I begin to see difference or change. Now, I understand to myself, how important vision is for me in order to begin any type of work. I value so much more seeing the result or outcome.
Now, traversing through my pre-teen year old brain, I remember visually chopping the space of the wall into many quadrants. It was easier to begin when I chopped the space into quarters, into fifths, into eighths and so on. Any other way, it would have impossible for me to begin. I also started in places where I could actually reach. This meant beginning at foot level and working my way up. While in progress, I studied much the way the dirt or dust clung to the tiny spaces of the wall. I studied how the direction of the scrubbing action influenced whether dust would be rubbed off or exfoliated. I spent a great deal of time actually witnessing the movements of the dirt or dust with the movement of the hand and the flow of the water in the background of the textured walls. I was always very present with each scrub. My objective was to see a clean wall, and so I wanted to figure out, in my own little head, what was the best approach. It did mean, that I worked in much silence. I enjoy working in silence. This is when I become the most productive. I put a lot of intention into what I am working on, and use the eye to see the minute progress made with each pocket of effort. I work in a sustained way, until I begin to see some progress. It is the minute changes that come with each little added pocket of effort that truly bring much satisfaction my way. I do believe it is at this step, that I learnt the meaning of momentum.
Now, there is something more interesting that I would like to share. It is the idea, that no one is actually going to expect or anticipate much from someone when the work seems copious, especially for one person. It was this very thought that secures me in a blanket of wanting to work. In an environment where there is little to no expectation, my enthusiasm for work propels to very high levels. I work best, when there is no expectation. Period. Anticipation and external expectations are factors that, I have observed, truly influence my momentum. Having the fear of judgment really sets me up for much failure, when I think about it. When these external factors are minimized, there is a grace to continue the flow of the hands against the wall, and a natural rhythm is found. Very little thought spent on how good or bad a job takes away the anxieties associated with the judgment on effort. When no one expects anything, there is so much freedom to experiment with different methods, having the room to make mistakes and come up with practical solutions. Though, having a vision is quite necessary, I do believe that target results and emphasised outcomes have a part to play on how strongly someone can hold on to a momentous force. Building momentum also means leaving much room for mistakes and extending a grace period to learn how to overcome these challenges.
As I continue to recall those steps, what comes to mind is the idea that I held on to, that is, the idea of finishing what I started. I am not really the procrastinating type. In fact, I am actually the anxious type, very anxious to complete my projects, once started. Because I am more visual, and achieve satisfaction through very much, the physical display of the outcome, it is this very idea that propels me to finish what I have started. I understand that a lot of anxiety can built up inside a person, if, for some reason, they have lost sight or even lost a sense of reason for completing certain actions. It is the vision that helps guide me along.
Though an action can be very repetitive, the path or journey is usually not homogenous along the full distance. Some sections of the wall posed a much greater challenge than earlies sections. Sometimes, it is in these changes, that a lot of frustration can be built up. However difficult the road, it was always that vision that I secretly held inside of me that kept my arms in constant flow. I was so determined to complete what I started, even if it meant feeling broken, feeling mashed up, I was so determined to still finish what I started.
As I reflect now, my younger self teaches me so much. It is in those gaps or spaces of life, when nothing seems to be working out or there is no physical or outward change that seems to be happening, it can be very frustrating and confusing to figure out which way to go. For an absolutely long time, I felt as though my whole life was a mistake, for I had absolutely no idea where I would begin to see the physical fruits of my thoughts and my hands and my works. For a very long time, I kept feeling as though all my efforts were just emptied into this black hole, never to be seen again. It takes a moment to remember those times when I placed effort on something as basic as a wall, which would get back dirty anyway, to highlight the action of faith.
Faith is practised the most when we are just not able to see the reward or outcomes of the works performed. Sometimes even, it is not about the aesthetics or how something looks or outwardly appears that matters. There are certain special ingredients that are at work that go far beyond what my eyes could see. It is not about waiting for some external person to grant me the permission to continue my work. It is about having the faith to continue doing it anyway. I still do it anyway.
I now look back and realize that though momentum can be achieved through looking, and noticing the changes that one wishes to see in his life, it takes a deeper look at faith to know and understand that it is not always about sight.
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